And now I'm listening to the new Rob Zombie. Who knew this day would ever come. I didn't even know he had a new album coming out until the other day. I think I stopped really caring what he was doing musically at approximately the age 18, the week after I got "I'm Your Boogie Man" stuck in my head. I remember telling an ex that the song was stuck in my head and he had never heard it, so I sent him to Napster. Jesus Frankenstein, indeed. One of these days I'm going to get all nostalgic about the Swamp and that guy Spiritbeggar, who posted this album...

So. Here we go.

1. Starts like a stereotype of "current" metal, ImmOpeshUggaHammer (bad comparisons, oh well)... and then moves into something else more classic sounding. Freakin' unfocused. I like the bass riff thing in the non-"hey" vocal parts. My guess this has made it to the radio already... I haven't listened to the radio in probably a year, so... who knows. Maybe you do.

2. Oh boy, a movie/sound track. Holy moly, that sounded familiar for a second there. It changed. Hmm. I'm taking it that this album won't be available at Walmart. What a weird concept... Oh, there we go with the familiarity again. What song is that? Electric Head? Yeah... a slowed down Electric Head. Maybe I'm wrong, I'm having issues here trying to identify the exact thing I'm hearing.

3. Another piece of movie. And what's this, Manson Magnet of Reality? I think I've heard this before... Wikipedia is telling me yes, I have. It's pretty easy.

4. Now we're gonna get southern/country emotional. Long intro, or...? lol. Okay, long intro. I like how bands think they're innovative by having completely irrelevant intros to songs. I wonder how long it took Rob to remember the lyrics to this song. He's getting old, I'm thinking two lines is one too many at this point.

5. More random familiarity. I think the proper way to say that was "when the night comes", not "when the night come" because now I'm wondering what the hell day come is. Perpetually 14...

6. Church bells = virginity. Oh shit, we're going black metal on your ass. Gotta dress in black rags and prance around the damn trees now, brb. WHITE PAINT. I HAVE STICK. DEATH FACE.

7. ... Well, it's groovy. Nice?

8. Wiki told me I may have heard this one. I'm not recognizing it so far. It sounds... like a song.

9. Fairly typical almost-the-end-of-the-album drawn out slower track... The undefinable borrowing is getting to me, though.

10. Another groovy style track...

11. Classical music meets metal: That's never been done before. Fairly good intro, though, and at least it works as its presented in the rest of the song. The [seeming] drum outro is a bit..long... though it comes back to song, song. Drum solo, then.

Sarcasm aside, it's alright. Nothing shitty, but nothing that'll blow your mind either. Younger people or those who've only just barely touched on Rob Zombie (or metal of any kind) won't know the difference, and Rob Zombie's "image" will make it work, so I'm guessing it's going to do well and get good general reviews.