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December 2009 Archives
Here's mine. 1st track: Le Tigre - Yr Critique - 26 May 2005 11000th track: At the Drive-In - Skips On The Record - 13 Jan 2006 29000th track: Kyuss - 06. kyuss - deadly kiss - 03 Jan 2007 49000th track: Desert Sun - Uneasy - 22 Jan 2008 70000th track: Tool - Forty Six & 2 - 04 Jan 2009 I can't even remember what a couple of these songs sound like... or why I have plays of a few others. Was I messing around or just having a weird day? But yep. Not as schizophrenic a list as I expected. PLASTIC... BAG IN THE SEA. Song: "Running Up That Hill" Also try not to be cheesed to death by the original song: it has a video.
Categories:
2006
Song: "No Complications" 20 years, huh? Timeless. I can't find a sample of the song. There's this, though.
Categories:
1980s
Song: "Esoteric Surgery" This is kind of low of the list of songs you need to hear by Gojira, and not exactly a good introduction to them as a whole... but it's catching my ear quite a bit lately. I thought it was sort of funny today when, talking about Saturn conjunct my Mars in my 12th house, this song came on random... "You have the power to heal yourself" is the first line. You have the power to heal yourself All illness can be healed Flesh bodies mute and blinded Esoteric surgery a dissection of the soul All illness can be healed Suspended floating in empty spaces I wonder if Joe has Moon aspecting Neptune. A lot of his hippy bullshit comes down to hallucinatory nonsense. Of course, I can't find his birthday. Also, I'm sure 30% of the population has "moon aspecting neptune", or some other ridiculous figure like that, so who knows what the fuck I'm seeing here. I have Moon sextile Neptune and I obviously have a bad handle on reality when it comes to my writing... Projection. Wow, that last paragraph was a useful contribution to the internet. I hope you're grateful. I know I am. Post!
Categories:
2008
Song: "Children of the Grave" I have a habit of turning on certain bands and, if distracted, forgetting I'm listening to music at all. It's 'just there'. Of course, this song doesn't just end... It ends with a long pause and suddenly repeating its title. I can't count the number of times I've been sitting here working away on something, forgetting about the music, and suddenly having "children of the grave" whispered at me at ridiculous volume... causing me to jump. Jerks. Also, I just want to let everyone in the movies know that when you do scenes involving the late 60s/early 70s or Vietnam, it's okay to skip out on the cliche "loud" druggie music to enhance the scene. You don't do it to the 80s or 90s or 2004, so feel free to stop doing it to Vietnam. We here on Planet 2009 understand that there was semi-significant music around that time without your further aid. Also, I'd like to note that glamourizing the 70s is proof that god loves fags. We're almost on the second decade of the millennium, here. People who lived through the decade turn into the 70s at ages where music was relevant to them are old enough to be in nursing homes, now. Get with the program. Note to self: Pretend to get with the program without appearing hypocritical having just posted "Children of the Grave" to the ol' bloggy blog. Also consider finding out which program I'm suppose to adhere to, perhaps while I also consider my open homophobia and why I can't use everyday language to describe things as opposed to non-PC language. When finished considering, flush.
Categories:
1970s
Aww. Now that I've used that title, I can't use it again. I will mourn for the loss. That said, there's this band Damnweevil and they've decided to do the new streaming album on the internet thing, so go do them and likewise the business of music a favor: It's Always Darkest Before It Goes Pitch Black. Have to say I'm liking "Pay In Blood". If you can't get the player to work, it's also available on myspace. Song: "Girth and Greed" Only the first minute and 33 seconds of that video is the song here. I wasn't paying attention when I downloaded this a week or two ago, but now that I've had to do the research, it's a bit annoying to discover the other band personnel connection (which, now, is obvious). Nevertheless, this song is pretty awesome and straight to the point, something Isis never achieves... I'm pretty sure you have two minutes to spare, so if you're as musically ignorant as I am and haven't heard this song before, check this out.
Categories:
2000s - early
Song: "Sometime Wednesday" This song is great. Yes. This album as a whole has gotten better with time, particularly with its best songs which this one obviously qualifies. Unfortunately, it's one of those songs you can't listen to when you're in a low, dumb mood because it does this: Son, you can't bring your gun in here. We're going to have to confiscate that at the door if you're coming in. I don't know what you're going to do now. Maybe it's going to be Sometime Never for you, eh? Maybe a little Sometime Five Minutes In The Car Beforehand? And what's this semper fi crap? You don't sound particularly faithful with your talk about other people. You're hitting Sometime So Last Summer right about there, pal. SHE SAID DO-NT, DON'T LET IT GO TO YOUR HEAD, BOYS LIKE YOU ARE A DIME A DOZEN. /abrupt end
Categories:
2008
I finished my last bit of finals and schoolwork for the term, so I finally have time to get through some of these longer, more thoughtful posts... I still need to work on some kind of "top whatever" list, but I can get other things out of the way now. [concerts] I didn't go to as many shows this year as last, and didn't experiment as much with concerts or music in general this year, but I still made an effort to get out of the house now and again. There are still 20 days left of the year, thus still room for activity to occur, but... these are the shows I went to this year: 01. Black Eyes & Neckties - Black Elk - Red Fang Unlike last year, I didn't have a ride available for the vast majority of these shows. Similarly, I wasn't up to spending money on cabs. Most of the shows I absolutely need to cab home from end up being "free" or 5-15 dollar small venue shows, and I definitely would spend a fuckload more on a cab than that. It doesn't seem congruent. Ultimately, I ended up skipping a bunch of small, experimental shows I had been interested in from afar... I also skipped part of/all of bands' sets just to avoid cabs. I learned a lot about my relationship to concerts, venues, live bands, and crowds last year, too. There wasn't much newly discovered this year. My attitudes about live shows have mellowed out for the most part. I did go to two new-to-me venues this year, though... neither of which I particularly cared for. I still have a few more major venues I need to visit. This year I experimented a bit with recording shows. I tried a crappy digital recorder the first show, but it didn't turn out. The next one, I tried a video camera. It was too dark in the room and I quickly learned I didn't have enough space on my memory card to record even shitty video, but it worked really, really well to help me write up a setlist. I ended up recording pieces of several more shows... Most of the video sucks, but most of the sound is great (for what it is). I'm impressed with my camera's microphone for sure. Naturally, this has drawn me attention I don't like. I don't think I've taken any photos/video without being either in the back of the room or on the very side of the stage, so to prevent being the distracting light in the room... so hopefully I haven't pissed off any bands. I'm trying my damnedest not to be "that guy" just because I like having a proper setlist. A few times, though, the camera resulted in "conversation"... which I don't find is really a good reason to start talking at me. So... Obviously, the best show of the year for me was Gojira. I got to shake everyone's hand, got my ticket signed, got a one-of-a-kind shirt, and smiled my ass off at Joe. Plus, the show itself was one of the best I've been to, ever. I was incredibly high after that concert, something I hadn't been in any situation in quite a while. The most unexpectedly good band live was Sandrider. I don't remember the details anymore to really properly compare them to anyone else, but I was very into their entire set. Seeing as how I'd only heard their myspace posting of "The Corpse", the fact that I was really into them on literally my first listen to all of their songs really took me off guard. Perhaps the fact that I've been listening to Akimbo a lot the last year helped, but I got a more concise "feeling" out of Sandrider... And it was good. Really looking forward to seeing them again. Also unexpectedly awesome was Nether Regions. I didn't know anything about Nether Regions before I saw them. I got lazy and, though I brought up their myspace, didn't really give them a good listen before I saw them live. I'm not really even sure I'd heard OF Ditchliquor before, even though I must have considering I'd been reading show/ticket lists for years. Beyond that, myspace just doesn't do them justice. Expectedly awesome were Tweak Bird, Black Cobra, and Red Fang... especially Red Fang's MFNW show. Weedeater also was great on the soul my second time around seeing them. I love how fuzzy they get. The best all-around show, in general, was Melvins 1983+Houdini. I was a bit sick coming into this from the night before, and I'm not sure the crowd was really into them, but I came away from this a hell of a lot more impressed than I was either time I'd seen the Melvins as Melvins+Big Business. Even being as zoned out as I was, I still had fun and got to lose myself in the show and in the new-to-me music mixed with old familiar. Oddities of these or other shows include getting offered a pass into a couple of shows. I couldn't go to either one, but I did get the sense of there being some kind of odd conspiracy/coincidence regarding this. Both bands know each other, and they asked me in a very short time of each other. At one show, on the way out, I believe I was offered some social time with a member of one of the bands I'd just seen on stage. I had to get going, but that was "interesting". At several shows I had interactions with a local musician ranging from a distracted grimace to a sentence or two regarding music. I need to work on my social skills for sure, but I'm doing better. At one show I finally properly met a local musician. At one show I found myself standing next to another local musician, and finding it incredibly ironic because of where we were. After-the-fact, I've been googled or simply read by bands a few times because of show "reviews". Most of them have been local, and most of them didn't say anything to me, but I did get a good comment or two. One of them reused a couple of my photos. All in all... a good year for me regarding concerts. Not spectacular, as I did miss some (in theory) really good shows and still need a car to keep a good pace with live band experiences, but I liked and gained something from all of the shows I attended. I sort of expected a concert lull of sorts after last year, where I practically over-did "going to concerts", and all in all I seem to have met with the next logical step. No idea what the next year will bring me in regards to concerts yet, but we'll see, won't we? Entrance - "Lookout!" video: Looks interesting, folks... Moment of introversion, holiday-caused laziness, boredom, angst, and indecision is here. I can't think of a single fucking song to share with you, nor what to say to correlate with music in some abstract way. Astrologreek: Saturn is at 4 degrees 3 minutes Libra and my Ascendant is 4 degrees 19-20 minutes Libra. At least my hair looks great... I wonder what I said back when Saturn was aspecting my Ascendant in the past. Let us find out! 2005, Saturn in Leo sextile my Ascendant: "why am i not a music critic?" 2003, Saturn in Cancer square my Ascendant:i noticed that several people i “know” and don’t know at all have posted or written online recently about the band ‘the yeah yeah yeahs’. and this means nothing to me as someone who doesn’t like new things, but the different type of people who had listened to or favoritized this band was a bit queer. a teenage social whore with absolutely no taste in music, an intelligent masochist, a pseudo-poetic dreamer, billAy. considering the white stripes were often listed somewhere nearby, i decided…i would download something. 2001, Saturn in Gemini trine my Ascendant: "Last night I was laying in bed, listening to the radio. Rage Against the Machine sung 'No matter how hard you try, you can’t stop us now.' It’s kind of ironic how they broke up, huh?" I remember that night, too. I said I could name every song on the radio to my nephew... Mandatory Metallica came on, and I got almost every one. Then we got to talking about Pink Floyd and/or Led Zeppelin. His friend's dad listened to classic rock. His friend's dad's place was the "cool" house in the neighborhood. BTW, Saturn in Virgo, semisextile my Ascendant: I started this blog. I don't really want to be a music critic. Music critics are full of themselves. Oh. Right. Anyway, I'm still working on some kind of end-of-the-year list. Here are the albums I have listed for 2010 that I'm looking forward to hearing. There are a few albums that I imagine are being written or released in the next year, but with bands not being keen on giving concrete information before something's actually happened, this is the best I can come up with right now. High On Fire - Snakes For The Divine (2/23) I'm probably most excited for the latter two. Ancient Age apparently wrote their album early this year, but I haven't heard news on it yet. I've heard Red Fang's newest material only live so far, and it sounds good. I wasn't blown away like I was the first time I heard them, but it is quality and I'm sure the album will be great. Witch Mountain is mainly a rumor - I heard they were/are working on something, and they do have a new song and a new member and are playing a lot more shows, so it stands to reason that something's in the works. Snailface (aka Kowloon Walled City) mentioned doing another album this February for the RPM challenge. Since the album is supposed to be complete February 28th, if they do the challenge, they should have material available in March. Hot Chip's last album was pretty good, so here's hoping this one is, too. I've listened to a hell of a lot more heavy/metal/sludgy type of music since their last album came out, so we'll see how it even holds up after this time. Deftones recently mentioned writing a new album. Since the release date is so far off, I can't imagine it sticking. Though my interest in them and their sound has waned over the years, I'm still curious. White Hills, High On Fire, and Diesto... Naturally all going to be at least somewhat good. Diesto hasn't announced a release date yet, but the album went to mastering months ago and they have material online so it should be relatively soon. So far so good. Next, albums I listened to THIS year... I listened to less new music this year than last. I wasn't very adventurous in general. I didn't scan blogs like before, and even when I did do that or take recommendations, I repeatedly came up disappointed. I suppose it has something to do with my social musical environment this year, needing to conserve hard drive space, the lack of money over the summer, and generally feeling resentful of perceived authority... I do not like being told or shown how I'm "supposed" to react to things. I also simply listened to less music, period. That said... I have a long list of albums I'm going to go through, one by one, sharing my thoughts on each. I have purposely passed on listening to a few albums this year, and I have probably forgotten a few mention-worthy albums to this list, but here goes. I divided this into three "lists". This first one is a jumbled mess as I added albums over time, representing albums I listened to, at least in part, that didn't really impress me as a whole. I needed something more from these to put them on subsequent album lists... All in all, this first list is a whole lot of bitching. Try not to vomit in the face of uneducated opinion or yell at the screen too much, kids.
Naam - Naam Zu - Carboniferous Kowloon Walled City - Gambling On The Richter Scale The Entrance Band - The Entrance Band Alice In Chains - Black Gives Way To Blue Crippled Black Phoenix - 200 Tons of Bad Luck Marilyn Manson - The High End Of Low Assjack - Assjack Wolfmother - Cosmic Egg Them Crooked Vultures - Them Crooked Vultures Eagle Twin - The Unkindness of Crows 16 - Bridges To Burn Black Sleep of Kali - Black Sleep Of Kali Assemble Head In Sunburst Sound - When Sweet Sleep Returned Behemoth - Evangelion Tombs - Winter Hours Lamb of God - Wrath Vibravoid - Distortions Phased - A Sort Of Spastic Phlegm Induced By Leaden Fumes Of Pleasure Baby Woodrose - Baby Woodrose Shrinebuilder - Shrinebuilder Cursive - Mama, I'm Swollen Cave In - Planets of Old EP Torche/Boris - Chapter Ahead Being Fake Saviours - Accelerated Living Wildildlife - Peas Feast Clutch - Strange Cousins From The West Combichrist - Today We Are All Demons Between The Buried And Me - The Great Misdirect The Gossip - Music for Men White Shit - Sculpted Beef Brothers of the Sonic Cloth / Mico de Noche - split Pelican - What We All Come To Need Magrudergrind - Magrudergrind Ancestors - Of Sound Mind Eternal Tapestry - Palace of the Night Skies The Bloody Beetroots - Romborama Zombi - Spirit Animal Prodigy - Lost Beats EP Cull - Erosion Cannibal Corpse - Evisceration Plague Immortal - All Shall Fall The Ax - Our Queen Of Dirt Converge - Axe To Fall Kylesa - Static Tensions Muse - The Resistance Albums that didn't make this list are coming... This second list is albums I either liked for the most part, liked the idea of with a few songs to support, or albums from bands that SHOULD be on the top-ten list, but the album disappointed me somehow. I'd say this list is one step above the first list, but I would have to expand on them a lot more than I actually have to justify that statement. In short, I like these, as a whole, a little more. Fight Amp - Manners And Praise Snailface - Snailface Chinese - The Conquest of Tomorrow Today Children - Hard Times Hanging at the End of the World Part Chimp - Thriller Wino - Punctuated Equilibrium Fu Manchu - Signs of Infinite Power White Mice - Ganjahovahdose Porcupine Tree - The Incident Salvador - Cleansed Through Fire And Blood Mastodon - Crack The Skye Madraso - Vanhorne Bat for Lashes - Two Suns And So I Watch You From Afar - And So I Watch You From Afar Lily Allen - It's Not Me, It's You Reverse Dotty - Licorice Whips Baroness - Blue Record Prodigy - Invaders Must Die YOB - The Great Cessation SubArachnoid Space - Eight Bells Priestess - Prior To The Fire MSTRKRFT - Fist Of God Peaches - I Feel Cream And finally, for now... Big Business - Mind The Drift You can probably guess what's coming... (continued from part one and part two.) As I've been working on this, I've realized I've forgotten to add more albums and EPs than I originally thought. I started working on the list weeks ago, and it long ago lost its focus. Nevertheless, I've been working on these album posts since 6am yesterday, and I'm not about to spend yet another hour writing about albums I clearly didn't like enough to have it land on this last list, the "top ten" of 2009 for me. Much of this last year, I've backtracked over music that came out last year or just before. I listened to Danava a lot at the beginning of the year. I learned that Akimbo's Jersey Shores is way better than I originally thought. I spent a hundred billion hours on Tweak Bird, and a hundred billion and one hours listening to Gojira. I'm still listening to Red Fang a lot. After completely overdoing Electric Wizard last year, I'm starting to like them again. I've grown to appreciate Black Elk's self-titled a lot more, and I'm still amused. I finally even gave Slayer a listen (haven't listened to the new one yet). White Hills' Heads on Fire ended up being one of my favorites of the year, and it came out in 2007. Seeing as how I essentially ran through most of the new-to-me bands I listened to last year to keep up with my downloading habits, it's good that I finally gave some of these and other bands a proper listen... I am, however, burned out. I could do without hearing yet another mediocre stoner/psych band for some time. So here we are, the final ten. I will forgo on the ordered numbering, and you can pretend which album I thought was best of the lot. Black Cobra - Chronomega Sepultura - A-Lex Russian Circles - Geneva Puscifer - "C" Is for (Please Insert Sophomoric Genitalia Reference Here) OM - God Is Good Headdress - Lunes Fever Ray - Fever Ray Zoroaster - Voice of Saturn Wizard Smoke - Live Rock in Hell Masters of Reality - Pine/Cross Dover ... All done. Since I forgot a few albums and think a few songs are more deserving than their albums, I may be working on a 2009 song thing here soon... Song: "Starlady" I didn't realize how "ironic" me listening to this band today was until I started to write about something else in this text box "for" you guys. I suppose nearly every band I like would be ironic, but yeah. Pentagram. .... I should do a show where the main character wants to change the name of Christmas to "circle jerks" and describes giving presents to ungrateful six year olds equivalent to "accidentally" coming on someone's face. This character will be a 54 year old alcoholic who was a minister until "that incident in front of 7-11". "I bet those Indians don't celebrate bullshit holidays like Circle Jerks," they say in a huff, pointing at some invisible person in the corner. Halfway through the rest of the rant, punctuated by a sudden "HEY!", the connection drops. I make a statement or two about the importance of mental health care and not being too proud for a weekly sit-down with a shrink. Two calls later, a nice-sounding lady finds the show and apologizes for her dad. They don't normally let him near a phone, but you know... you should be nice to everyone on Circle Jerks. The punch line is the obvious one about his daughter needing to go wash her son's face now. k thx bye! Heartwarming family Christmas stories make me feel more whole inside. I'm glad we could have this momentary time of psychological bonding, internet. Til next time I have something irrelevant to say about a song I like... love to hate you!! <3
Categories:
1970s
I'm having a series of low days, and I felt like reading old shit. Saturn's conjunct my Ascendant, Pluto's square my Mars exact... 7-8 months before I started writing here: i was listening to “a history of drunks” this morning, drinking my coke to clear my brain, and thinking i needed to make a post about it. just something. even a line saying i really liked the song. that’s it. but i like a lot of songs. in fact, i love a lot of songs. and that made me think of one of the dumbest, most inane ideas ever..! i could make a post displaying all of the songs i’ve ever loved. more unnecessary garbage to fill up your life! yay! I have never actually posted that song. Pretty sure A Senile Animal is on my shortlist of albums that are the most amazing and emotionally nourishing, though. I think this is... gathered, you know, from my writing otherwise. Hmm. Here's an entry I wrote about three months before the blog. I had links to downloadable songs in there, but they're gone now. these are for you. most of them are about the same level of style. Two and a half years, or almost three years, and I'm still listening to the same shit. Well, I've gotten really sick of Anonymous. I haven't been listening to Superjudge or Monster Magnet in general much for a while. I did have a Sheavy phase a bit ago, that album specifically, probably prompted by extreme over-exposure and feeling awkward about listening to anything pre-ReDUMBlic. Otherwise, yeah. I wonder if this is where I "belong" or I'm merely having a really drawn out phase. Song: "Muscledog Shot" This might have come out in 2001, but there are two versions of this album and I can't get any straight information on this band. I have the one with 15 songs. Most days Winamp has no idea what I want to be listening to, but some times it hits right on the money. This song's very welcome and stoner rock warm and nice and all of that shit. The following song, "Not Okay" also sounds really nice, though probably better in context, after this song. Nevertheless, oops, missed the boat again.
Categories:
2000s - early
Mainly on purpose, this year was one of the boring ones I'm not going to remember very clearly in the future. After the last several years, that's fine. I've gotten really sick of having to hear other people's dramas, deal with personalities I don't care for in situations I'm stuck in, doing things on a schedule I didn't make for myself, and generally being stuck because of other people. It was nice to soak in the absence of being for once. I got to finally sit in silence and technical freedom. So here's my year, broken down. I met a few new people, I think all of them through or because of music. All of them were abandoned shortly for various reasons or for no real reason at all. I don't feel like being responsible for anyone's psychology, and it seems many of the people that seem attracted to me are "needy" that way. I had better luck talking with people I knew before, or making a better long-term impression on those who I had first met before this year. Family this year has been more interesting than it's been in a while. My mom is engrossed in my sisters/nieces' neverending dramas, which is a drama in itself. My dad pissed me off for probably the first time ever, which I find unbelievable since that should have happened years ago. My nephew got married. I talked to my sister for the first time in ten years. I met my newest little niece, and I got to "hang out" with her and her brother some. I'm looking forward to seeing what they're like when they're older. My cat family hasn't necessarily been interesting, but I've been doing tons of hanging out with them. We were all down together when it was super hot in the summer, again when one of them got sick and died, and again when we had two separate outbreaks of fleas. This year I've experienced a hell of a lot of empathy towards them all, especially the one that died. I miss her about as much as I imagined I would, though I didn't expect to still be teared up about it four months later. My neighbors this year have been extremely fucking irritating. The assholes finally moved around summertime, but two wonderful months later we got new ones.... While infinitely quieter, one of the new people seems to have a bad case of OCD and can't sit still, and therefore needs to be shot. I miss not hearing my neighbors like at previous apartments... I miss metal doors and insulated walls and floors. Or, even, living in a house. School this year has been better than last by a good margin. I've been taking more online classes, which adds a workload but relieves me of having to deal with people I can't stand and doesn't get in the way of going out or my non-existent sleep schedule. I've also been taking classes, finally, that actually have something to do with what I'm there to learn. Spring term this year was fucking magical, and I wouldn't mind school if it were always like that. I haven't worked much this year. I suppose whether I worked or didn't, I'd still not have much money over the summer when I wasn't in school. Nevertheless, what working I did mainly just served as an irritation. I kept getting grouped up with a few coworkers whose personalities were practically my opposite: lazy or stupid and never taking initiative. I was glad to be freed of that. My appearance has morphed a bit over the year. I suppose I fit the metal/goth demographic more now than before with my stupid hair, even though I've been intentionally wearing less black. I'm getting way less comments and stares than I used to, which I appreciate quite a bit. I've been meaning to dye it something crazy again, but the chemical hair dye hasn't faded much and crazy color dyes do not "take" to the hair I have now. I'd have to do some bleaching, and fuck that shit. I should, however, exercise more... All the sitting I've done since I've started school has done mean things to my body. This year I've tried to drink less caffeinated stuff, especially coke, and that's helped a lot with being focused and "healthy" on a daily basis. Overall, I feel better when I stay away from sugary drinks. But yeah... Exercise, need it. Writing/the blog has been kicked in the face. I suppose the boredom and the lack of "every day" activity to prompt me into updating doesn't help. I said I'd continue with the blog even through musical lulls, so I'm still here. I've shit all over its format, though. As for other writings, not much has occurred. I try, but I can't get into old style writing. Other than this, I haven't done much creating. I did move in March to seeingthedark.com, however, since "sagittarius" is a pain in the ass for people to spell and blogspot doesn't have enough functionality, plus their layout code is a mess. I think that makes this my fifth domain. The former two are a bit dead right now, but I'm eventually planning to set up some redirects and maybe do something worthwhile with my "username" domain. Movies/tv this year haven't been much different. I watch the same things, probably just at different rates. I started an entry about movies months ago and it listed many of the movies I've seen this year, but I can't find it now. Most of them were shit, though. I think every movie that the masses thought were good/amazing, I thought was mediocre at best... So far I seem to be about on par with mass opinion on Let The Right One In, though. Oh, and I liked Paranormal Activity even though most people of my cynical nature did not (possibly because I saw a pre-Hollywood version). Boymen this year have been psychologically revealing, although I've yet to figure out why or what the hell. I seem to have developed a demographic. I finally talked to one of them from the past and it was fucking awkward and tense. And then there's always assorted two-day crushes and my apparent "internet boyfriend". This year I learned I get as bored as I used to get before I started having "relationships". Nice. Probably been bored this whole time. Stupid social rules making me think I had to be in a "relationship" back then. In short, the sucky points: And the good points: I may have missed some important points, but whatever. All in all, it's been an average year... hooray. I recorded myself the morning of January 1st 2000. I later made a transcript of it because I wanted to share what I said with someone online, when I didn't have any other way for them to "hear" it. I kept the transcript around all of this time, to one day blackmail myself as with now. You'll enjoy immensely how distracted I get by details in my story and how the drunkenness enhances that in ways that are incredibly irritating. The thing is, I'm no better of a story teller now, or sober. Asterisks are sounds, brackets are english interpretations of what I actually said, bold is shouting, small fonts are quiet comments. And my self mockery lives on.
*breathes* Hello... oh-kay. Today, is, *laughs* Januar.. heh.. is January first.. two thousand.. and it's... six..o'seven.. AM. heh. And I'm still awake; I haven't gone to sleep yet. Well, I almost fell asleep like an hour ago..buh.. I'm still awake. Okay, just to warn ya, this tape is going to start off really bad cuz I'm a little, like uh, drunk.. but not like, ya know, I'm talking okay, I think. heh. ..And I've got like music in the background if I get really boring or something... *breathes* And I'm like sitting at my computer.. and.. *tries not to laugh* nobody's on.. becau--*laughs* nobody's on because it's like really early.. or really late.. wuh, whatever you wanna call it. Early. Yeah. And, um, *slapping noise* I dunno. ... I just.. thought I'd record and, and talk.. try taw- try to talk. hehe. Because I like- I've been writing. Like typing writing and stuff. I [was just] writing, like, with your hand. Just now. And I was thinking about typing, but I thought, "NO, typing sucks. I hate typing. I'm gonna talk." but I hate talking too so.. yeah. Uhh. My voice is a lil weird, because I like had like orange juice and the stuff, and, like, I don't like orange juice very much and it like messes up my throat.. so I'm not talking like my normal voice right now. Oh, and I'm really really tired.. cuz I haven't slept in a long time. Yeah. *click* If someone comes online I'm- I'm going to stop. Kay. Cuz like I don't wanna like sit here tryin to type and talk at the same time cuz it's not an easy task. Kay, let me.. uh.. tell you what happened for New Years. Wow. And um, hmm, where to start. Well, I'll start with two days ago. I think it's two days ago.. I can't remember. Um. Let me have a drink first. heeh. Might help a little. Hold on. I'm almost done. But I can't do it. heh. *sound of glass hitting the desk* Okay. Oh, It's starting to taste good now. hehe. Ah, yuck. Um. Two days ago, well, Thursday was Dah-cem-ber thir-dee-ith? I think. And, um, Desiree and Kris and I planned to, um, go dancing at this, like, I-don't--know.... yeah nevermind. Well, we planned on going to this place we went to before called Misfits, and it's like this gay/lesbian club. It was pretty cool the first time, but I was all nervous about going.. a second time.. cuz it'd be more packed than it was the first time and.. it just makes sense... and um. *exhales* I went nextdoor and I was all ready to go to this gay/lesbian thing, and it turns out the club was closed, and.. They changed their name to The Edge, pfft! heh. And um. We were gonna go to The Quest instead.. And if you've ever been to, uh, Portland before, you hear ads for The Quest all the time.. cuz they're really gay.. And a whole bunch of preps were there, a whole bunch of stoner dudes, and preps, and it was really scary. And, like, okay. hehehe. Uhh. Blahhh... We go in and, uh, I'm standing around.. I'm like "This Sucks.." and then all of a sudden the floor starts bouncing.. and it was so cool... hehh.. The floor was bouncing. It was pretty cool. It was like this humongous.. not "humongous".. like, really loud bass and the music and the floor was shaking whereever you went and it was freaky [cuz] the floor was shakin!... And that's about the time they brought in the drugs, er, I dunno. Woah, stop doing that. Freak. And then, um, heh... I guess I must've been like a little high or something... stoned... cuz like someone like brought in drugs cuz Kris, Kris like, hehehe... She got like, she screamed into my ear.. She goes "Do you smell POT?" And I'm like, "Oh god, paranoid woman, shut up." heh. But. Uh. Yeah. So that's what.. was going on. And me and Desiree and Kris met these two guys.. Well, thanks to Desiree. And we talked to them, and they like, they were weird. They were like afraid of everything. Afraid of the boogieman... hehehe... *pathetically laughs for a while*... Okay.. And, okay, uh, and then we [stood] outside in the freezing cold weather and talked in our, in our, uh, really small, uh, costumes, clothes, and stuff...and talked and.. that was alright, but I think we scared em, and they didn't wanna.. be around us or something.. I dunno. I don't really care. Psht. Who cares. You're gay. And, then I went home and I smelled like smoke and my mom told me I smelled like smoke and I was like "okay", so I woke up and I was a little smellin like smoke.. oh!, oh.. First, oh... First I got online before I went to bed that night, Thursday night, *exhales* and I talked to, uh, Pat. And no. No no. Not that Pat.. from.. uhh. Uh, shit. Wilsonville, I think it is.. Noo.. Not Gayville. Tst. It's not Mudville, er, hehee. It's like.. pah.. Not Milwaukie.. Not Clackamas.. Gladstone! There ya go. Mudville, tehehe. What the hell. Uh, heheh, so.. Jen, It's not that Pat that you like had this little crush on and and we *tries not to laugh* talked to on the phone and we called him *in tears* pattycake... *laughs*... Yeah... It's not that Pat. It's the Pat from, uhh... Texas. Or Texus. Whatever you wanna call it. Tex-hus. I dun know how to say it. I'm a lil weird right now... *"Please" playing loudly in the background*....I don't ever wanna make it stop!... *turns it louder*... Okay. And now that the radio's gonna distract me, so, um. *Trent Reznor says "I dont ever wanna make it stop!"*... Let's see. I talked to Pat. And we were gonna have like...*pause*...Let me rephrase. We were going to do something weird. heh. But he, his, It was really early for me and then it was like really early for him around like 4 or 5 in the morning so his dad came and kicked him off the computer *laughs* so we didn't get to do whatever it was. And. Uh. Yeah... Then I woke up smelling like smoke and all this stuff, na--, and I like took a shower and made myself not smell like smoke. And like I forgot my face cleaner... Well, that's not important, but I forgot it. And I was really disappointed.. *laughs* cuz I forgot my face cleaner. Yeah. And um.. tst.. um, what else? Oh yeah we went and got pictures taken for my yearbook photos.. and.. I looked cute. hehe. Woah! I'm not "away", what the hell... Now I'm invisible. I'm invistable! or something like that. Invisnable or inviggable or, *laughs*.. whatever TC used to say. okay. Then I got yearbook pictures done and I went ta all these weird stores and saw all these really weird things and these weird people and I got look u-- uh.. looked at a whole buncha times and I was really afraid of these people that were looking at me.. and.. it was scary.. and, um.. I don't think I wanna go there again.. Well, I have to because I have to get something for a certain person because there's a certain store that *laughs* I have to go to get a certain thing for that certain person.. from that certain store in that certain mall in that certain.. town.. in that certain area..*exhales*.. yeah. You know. And, *sigh*, hehe, and I got... *smiles* shampoo. I ran outta shampoo and I needed that. And uh, I got yearbook photos. And you [know what would be] cool. Dude I sounded like I was like english or something. *in a british accent* "ought be".. I'm ought be.. It ought be cool. *takes a drink... glass hits desk loudly* Have some more! Uck. Okay. It's actually starting to taste good now.. and I ran out. I'm sorry. Damn. Anyway... I came home and *wide eyes* I talked to Pat.. and he was getting drunk.. Well he had.. he hadn't drunk anything til I came online... So that was pretty weird. And then about seven or something.. my mom.. came in and she gave me she gave me.. Dude, I'm not even like 21 yet.. or 18 or whatthehellwhatever...*exhales* and she gave me wine.. but-eh-she-er- chardonay.. shar-dun-ay...chardonay.. with orange juice in it and it's not orange juice, it's Sunny Delight, but she said it was orange juice and I had an argument with her, as usual, about the difference between orange juice and Sunny Delight.. cuz it really bothers me cuz I hate orange juice and I sorta like sunny delight, but we had sunny delight and yeah she called it orange juice and I was kinda disappointed that she put orange juice in it when it was actually sunny delight and I was kinda bitching about it but then I realized it was sunny delight and.. yeah... *laughs* That must have been funny. Uh.... Let's see. Uhh. Um. Oh yeah. I had my chardonay and just about as it was kicking in... Desiree called! And so I had a little bit of uh, slurred speech like I do now but just not as much.. and I wasn't as noying. As annoying. And I kinda walked kinda funny.. but not too funny. I kinda felt like I was gonna fall over but I was fine. I was okay. I was doing it. yeah. *"Starfuckers" playing in the background*.. Starfuckers. Starfuckers Incorporated. Pfft. Anyway... I prolly said anyway like a hundred times already. Anyway. *swallows* I went over Desiree's house, nextdoor, and Ben.. pfft!! and Kris.. and Desiree and Josh..er.. John wer-the-they-there and then I came.. and it was pretty uneventful until, uh, she popped out the tequila.. and, uh, Desiree and John went in the bedroom.. heh. And that was quite, uhh.. interesting (I was trying to think of the word.. that's not the word but oh well).. quite interesting ta know that right nextdoor, er right in the room next to you that there's two people, that you know, that are fucking. That's just nice. And then there's like two people making out next to you. I'm like "uck.. nasty..".. *optimistically* but it was pretty funny.. after a while. Cuz Dez-uh-ba- uhh.. Kris, she kept laughing and it was really funny.. *laughs* yeah. And we were watching this really gay movie and I couldn't watch it cuz they were like talking and laughing and I just like ugh! *laughing* And then I started hearing this really weird noise.. yeaaah... and uh. Then all of a sudden it was midnight. And by that time I was really tired and I was really wanting to go home but all of a sudden.. they stopped making out and the other two came out of the bedroom and that was nice that they had the courtesy to... I don't know what I'm talking about so don't take none of this against me or.. whatever. Heeey. I remember when *trying not to laugh* Jenifer got drunk off that uh, the champagne and she told me she wanted to fu--... She wanted to like, oh, what was his name? It wasn't Chester. hehe. Not Ian. It wasn't John. It wasn't Josh..... It was like some weird name that.. is a normal name but it wasn't.. da--.. I don't remember! Sha-She said that, um.. she wanted to like get down with some kid that we knew at that time. Or, Excuse me, some guy. And, um, that was kinda scary cuz I like recorded her and she was being a major fuck up but it was pretty funny.. ya know? And she like pretended to throw up on me when I told her about, like, ghosts and stuff. But yeah. At that time I wasn't drunk like her.. So I was like trying to get in her head.. and I was recording her and it was really funny... But anyway. *pause.. the beginning of "Complication" comes on* Jeni's cool.. Anyway, where was I? I was like somewhere around, oh yeah! Midnight. And they let me in on their conversation (sort of).. well they weren't really having conversations... hehee... And um. *pause* I like, [oh wait], oh yeah I had some wine about that time, about midnight I had some wine, some more.. And um, that was good. And I didn't like it at first but it was okay. Kinda.. weird. *burps* Oh, 'scuse me. The same stuff I got now. But um, time goes by and.. John leaves and.. Ben and Kris started ta get a lil randy there, and Desiree's talkin on the phone and I decided about 2:30 that I left, that I was going to leave, so I left. *exhales* And I came home and I talked to.. uh.. I didn't talk to nobody, what the hell. I like wrote like an email crap thing and um... I met a new person from Gresham, pfft! Oh my goodness. [There's a] little Shitville. heh. See, we got Mudville and Shitville. heheh. I'm gonna have a little bit more.. *glass hits recorder, then the desk* Okay. I'll have more later but I gotta pee. heh, so.. hey. Don't do that. Anyway, I came home and blah blah blah, and then I'm still awake, and it's been like.. ohh..pft.. 20 hours of me being awake. And I usually only last about.. *inhales* 14. I dunno. I don't really pay attention..that..much. Yeah. I really wish, like.. oh. *pause* And I'm like talking a lot. I don't really talk this much.. like.. *sighs*.. like when I was recording the other day I wasn't talking that much. Like I'd talk a lot for a little while, and I'd pause and be really quiet for a long time *mumble* and yeah I really- I must be a talkative drunk. But I've- I wouldn't know yet cuz I'm not drunk, I'm just kinda like.. out of it. In fact, I can still type so.. that's cool. And I'm talking pretty good.... Hey, I'm gonna be right back cuz I really gotta pee and I'm prolly going to like flood the toilet or something *laughs*.....And I gotta get more of this stuff. Cuz I ran out. And this time I'm gonna start making really icky noises when I drink it because it..heh..because it's gonna be, like, pure. And, ah, ew. So I'm gonna-I'm gonna go be right back. you-you stay here. *click*
That was the first time I'd ever really been drunk, and I was only partway there. I kept recording, and recorded a few more times over the next days both drunk and miserable, but I didn't keep that in transcript form. Best time and last best time of that. I'm sober today. 2010? Who cares. Remember, kids: The internet is forever. |
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