I found proof of my lies, you guys. I'm going through old texts and I find this in a letter:

*VBS* I have a smile on my face for about 8 reasons... HERE GOES!
1- Its Snowing!!!! *VBS*
2- It's nice and warm in here...
3- I went shopping today and got that all over with... we didn’t just look... we bought *VBS*
4- I now officially have my own stereo system that works reeeeeaaally well *VBS*
5- I have 3 new CDs (just the thought makes me happy...)
6- Gravity Kills... GOOD one...
7- Monster Magnet... as in SPACE LORD and powertrip... VERY GOOD...
8- *VBS* Tool, Undertow... *VBS* All the good stuff... some I haven’t heard though... hehehehe... tomorrow is gonna be a blast... literally *LOL*
9- My mom bought herself something too... a CD and some snowtires... good...
10- I'm going over my limit of 8 happy things! *LOL*
11- Something arrived today.... hehehee.... Take a guess...
12- *VBS* just because its Winter Vacation!
13- I can keep going... but I'll stop before I get totally carried away.

Considering all that smiling and that this letter was to a boy, my guess is that my period arrived.

Nah, it was probably a package.

So my first of-age CDs were Gravity Kills, Powertrip, and Undertow.

And the date? December 21, 1998.

I loves me some dates. I'd break out the ephemeris right now, but the thing is... the online one is broken and I'm too lazy otherwise.

This is priceless.

You should have heard my mom in the store/place... hehe... I kinda blushed and made up some story.
"Whats this? 'Parental advisory Explicit content'?????" I told her "Yeah... well... they all got that stuff... its not that bad.. come on... *blushing*" *L* Then she looked at the coverart... *cough* "Who sings this?" Uh... Tool... see look at the top... hehe... see?
"Yeah... *reads and turns it over to the back... looks at it... looks up at me* Hmm..."
Heheh... yeah.... "*goes to the next CD... its clean... next CD...turns it over... picture of 3 symbols and fire* Hmm...*looks at me*" Hehhee... nice huh? *L*
*L* It was funny... I kinda turned red and made up a little story. GOOD thing she wasnt wearing her glass... god... her reaction would have been... "PRISON SEX??!?!!" *LOL*
I gotta be careful... hehe... every CD has cuss words on it, so I cant turn it up too loud while she's home. And if she comes in the room... I gotta turn it off.
Oh... and another thing. I cant have her looking through my Undertow CD. Its got pretty pictures.... *LOL*

That's weird thinking back to how I might have actually cared what my mom thought about things. This was only about a month before the shit hit the fan... and we pretty much entirely stopped getting along.

And it's weird to look at this, see all this laughing and smiling (which I'm sure was mostly authentic, even though exaggerated), and to know how things went... with me, with the music, with that boy, with my mom, with "life".

All things lost, I'm still listening to Monster Magnet.