I haven't laughed this hard in weeks.

Okay, new High on Fire song! It's pretty good! That Converge guy, he seems to know what he's doing. I like the return to form in production, as Snakes For The Divine was too clean, with the vocals slightly too close to the front of the mix. Matt Pike's voice isn't so great that it needs to be "advertised". I grew to like Snakes in time, but yeah, I prefer and preferred the older styled production. As for the song itself, well, it sounds like High on Fire. Nothing too crazy happening, it's the heavy stoner metal you'd expect. I like the drum intro and the first bit of guitars, and overall it's a strong song. I look forward to the album (still).

That aside, the song was initially debuted on Pitchfork. The write-up has gone missing now, but it included an informative paragraph about the band, the song, and upcoming album. This is a quote from Matt Pike, in that little write-up, about the concept of the album:

"I got this idea about Jesus Christ and the Immaculate Conception: What if Jesus had a twin who died at birth to give Jesus his life? And then what if the twin became a time traveler right then?"

If you know me at all, you know I like ridiculous concepts and playing with the idea of "reality". I will entertain just about anything. However, I'm not a big fan of typical stoner-doom concept lyrics. There's a point where a novel idea becomes exhausting and too stupid to bother with anymore. An album full of Holy Mountain or God Is Good shit rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it's my atheism at work, too - or maybe not. I respect the music, the writing itself is good, I'm "there" with ya, but I try to take a blind eye to the words themselves.

I started to read that quote and almost shut off, but it got WAY better! I can't tell if Matt is serious or not. I've seen interviews of the band and they do seem to take a pretty tongue-in-cheek attitude towards their music... but, knowing their lyrics as-is, twin baby brother Jesus on a magic carpet ride through dinosaur-ridden lands is probably applicable after all.

The ridiculousness of it got me laughing. Holy shit. Stoners are hilarious. Whether or not they're serious, or if Matt actually said that, someone really sat down and carefully thought that sentence out. And it was published!

About an hour passed, and I was still giggling, when I was asked how I was by someone who doesn't know anything about music or doom or the stoner scene. I debated just saying I was fine and leaving it at that, but no. I couldn't hold back. I told them what mister Pike said about his upcoming album. Laughing again, I noted that old stoners thought up some pretty ridiculous things.

They responded, in a defensive, annoyed, and dead serious tone: "I have NEVER ONCE thought about Jesus having a dead baby twin brother!"

Exactly.

The extra piled on "no shit!" stupidity of someone telling me that they don't think of Jesus having a dead twin threw me on the floor in a laughing fit.

My abs got a workout today.

Well. Apparently I haven't talked about Wight properly in eleven months. In that time, my attitude about them has changed, so it's update time!

Let's see. I have a crush on the vocalist's voice. It's fucking bullshit that I would ever have to listen to another crappy, can't-sing-for-shit yelling sludge band when there's THIS! as an alternative.

The Sleep worshiping, stoner-doom derivative sound was but a brief echo before realizing that they do play around with genre styles. It's hard to tell if they have their own recognizable "sound" just yet, but we'll find out soon enough. They have an album coming out fairly soon. Next month?

And fuck any other thing, just watch/listen to this:

That's LIVE.

There's also a new song floating the intertubes, called "You!" but every time I try to watch it I get distracted by the suggestions bar. 1000mods rules pretty hard, too. God damn, with the sing along! I didn't know fans of stoner rock could be polite to each other, said the irritated Roseland attendee.

Listen to them in order.

If you're like me, you'll stop the player at the second song, prompted by a "NOT HEAVY ENOUGH!" internal outburst. Don't do that. Just wait. Consider it a momentary pause, building up for something greater... perhaps even found in the third song, also.

And if you're not like me, you'll probably make it through song four or five unscathed by ADD. ...Or you'll play the first song nine times in a row to make up for it. Either way, yay Pontiak?

They're totally going on another US tour to promote Echo Ono soon, too.

My fascination with New Zealand began sometime my freshman year of high school, when I was 14. Less than two years later, I met my first New Zealand native, and for the next several years I was in love. I seriously considered moving there for years. It wasn't until my lifestyle began to shift towards music and music appreciation that I quietly abandoned the concept. Why would I go to New Zealand? They don't get many touring bands, and I needed those things to happen for me. Big Day Out sounds like an annual nightmare, and I have only briefly encountered bad knowledge of some kind of metal scene. The people I knew best from New Zealand were never really into "metal", and certainly not the fringe/underground/sub-genre sounds I've grown to appreciate, so I never learned about anything else.

Of course, I know my distance keeps me from seeing the whole picture. I know there's something worth exploring on those two islands - why else would the Melvins go there? If there are enough people to make it worth the trip, there have to be some good inspired bands happening. I found my local bands with a lot of gradual exploration, so it stands to reason that if I took the time to find some decent bands as I did with Portland's scene, I'd find similar amazing things within that country.

Instead, the amazing came to me as it tends to do lately. I do work for the representation of Wizard Rifle, who recently had a review written by the blog Six Noises. It's great to see them getting press* and attention now. I find it kind of sad that so many people are never going to get to know what they're like live right now, though - live Wizard Rifle is worlds beyond the recorded output. They're going on tour in April (dates) but, of course, destinations will be skipped by matter of economy and various people will miss them whether or not they live in a remote place.

Nevertheless, skimming the page of the review, I noticed the very large tag "New Zealand Bands". Wait, what? Is this a New Zealand blog? And they've reviewed Wizard Rifle? WHAT ELSE HAVE THEY REVIEWED? Well, Whores, for one. (There I go again, being an early adopter on a band to a pindrop reaction only to find their name everywhere I visit the following year.) They also have short reviews of Witch Mountain, Arabrot, Corrupted, YOB, Hammers of Misfortune... Obviously Six Noises is a Nanotear fan, if only by accident/incident. It's good to see that "boutique metal" music crosses international barriers, in addition to the evidence of language, gender, age, and occupation.

I decided to follow Six Noises on twitter after checking out the Wizard Rifle review, as we clearly have something in common and it's possible I might learn something outside of the Portland/American bubble. I have weak "following" habits as I'm generally annoyed by twitter, and tend to let my feed stagnate a day or two before reading it (usually just skimming through). Monday, though, I read one of their earlier posts, something about a New Zealand band described as being similar to Sleep and OM. I'm on a Lamprey kick and had been watching Al Cisneros wax retarded about OM just beforehand, so it caught my eye and I decided to give this band a shot.

Yes.

I assume this song isn't the whole album, considering the release date is a month out - but it's a good song, regardless. It definitely has that Sleep/OM heavy trudging sound, but they seem a little aesthetically lighter, friendlier, less introverted. It's more stoner rock than metal, in other words, with doom outlining the entire sound. I've heard similar presentation before, but not out of a known New Zealand band, and well...

And well, I think I finally have a musical reason to visit New Zealand. I have some work to do!

* Mid-writing this, I learned that Wizard Rifle is in the new Decibel magazine. Fuckin' A.

Dear friends who worry about their ability to "rule",

This may help you in that endeavor. No guarantees, but it did increase my friend George's rule-capabilities by 347.9% in one week flat. She also managed to stop smoking in that time, in addition to finally getting pregnant. We're having a hamster, guys!

Sincerely,
saturnine, in my mind, the only way I'll ever be.

PS. Witch Mountain's South of Salem is available to purchase in CD format now! If it sells out at bandcamp before you get a chance to grab yourself a copy, try Profound Lore.

Sometime last year, Helms Alee announced that they might be doing a music video for their song "8/16", given that their fans and supporters sent them some money to make it happen. Some weeks later, their campaign ended, leaving them with enough funds to make the video.

About two weeks ago I found myself in internet conversation about them. Hmm, wonder what happened to that video? I'd really grown to like "8/16" and had become rather curious about how they were going to make a song like that work visually. To my surprise, I was only a few days from its debut.

Midnight February 15th, "8/16" began streaming on Vevo.

At 12:10am I gave it a low-expectations sample, because that's how I roll. My consciousness sprung to life the moment I saw the Metallica impression and immediately recognized it as a Metallica impression. I giggled. The subsequent Red Hot Chili Peppers parody was DEAD ON, to the point that I wondered if it was a clip before noticing the differences. Slash - ha! I've never seen the Ozzy video but, had I, I probably would have snickered at the least of it. And of course, who doesn't like bad Beavis & Butthead dancing? Is it physically possible for a human being to dance like that?

For the spoofs I missed, I looked up as others posted which clips were spoofs of which old videos. Helms Alee are obviously close to my age, though perhaps slightly older. I recall seeing some of the videos live, while others I had missed because I was just young enough at the time to not give a shit about music videos. I didn't know Temple of the Dog had a video, for one.

After watching "8/16" (a dozen times), I have to wonder what kind of video I'd produce had it been up to me and my taste, history, and song. Obviously, "Prison Sex" would be on there. The Madonna video where she's squirming around in a white wedding dress is part of my subconscious, as is the one where she's a peep-show stripper. Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun" and TLC's "Waterfalls". The Smashing Pumpkin's zero-shirted vampire crap. NIN's "Closer". Red Fang's beer can basement. Kyuss' "One Inch Man". As is, though, the Helms Alee video clearly has a theme, and it works, and I really enjoy it.

Kudos!

I might as well post this here, too.

The Stoner Rock Alphabet emerged this morning. Contributions were underwhelming on the whole, so I decided to add ten minutes of my life to the thread. This occurred:

A is for Akimbo who is criminally underrated
B is for Black Cobra who is finally socially masturbated
C is for Coffins who scare the shit out of me
D is for Danzig who buys litter for his kitty
E is for Earthless who jam all night long
F is for Fu Manchu who clearly fancy their bongs
G is for Graveyard, masters of Swedish blues
H is for High on Fire because they fucking rule
I is still for Iota because they're the shit
J is for me, because at four lines I didn't quit
K is for Kowloon Walled City who aren't stoner at all
L is for Lamprey who write songs like OM, Sleep, et al
M is for Melvins who heavily influence the genre
N is for Nether Regions because, har-har, vagina
O is for Opeth because I can't listen to stoner all "dee"
P is for Pentagram who takes the rock n roll lifestyle personally
Q is for Queens of the Stone Age, stoner-ish music to take home to mom
R is for REBREATHER! because of outbursts on StonerRock.com
S is for Sabbath, duh, of course I'd include them
T is for Tweak Bird, a heavy rockin' duo gem
U is for Unida because I skipped over Kyuss, whose music went pretty far
V is the roman numeral of how many strings are on a bass guitar
W is for Wight for saving me from headaches having to listen to yelling
X is reserved for a future bands, at present there's no telling
Y is for YOB who don't make enough tours across enough lands
Z is for the sound I make after listening to all of these bands

Slowbone - "The Last Goodbye"
Danava covered this. I prefer Slowbone's version even though they're not that different.

Black Sabbath - "The Writ"
The word "cats" said by itself now automatically mentally results in the word "rats". "Cats... rats..." I originally had this song connected to the username of a friend. Guess that association didn't pan out.

Slo Burn - "Pilot The Dune"
I haven't heard this song in ages. I also put Unida on my hard drive again. It's not as affective as it was when I originally discovered either band but it's still quite lovely.

Why You Do This is a music documentary focusing on the band Car Bomb's touring journey through the later 2000s, asking questions about why they, and others, play music.

I watched mainly for Gojira, as I missed most of Car Bomb's set when they played here in 2009, and that alone paid off. There's a few interviews with Joe, and during one of them there's a clip of the Hawthorne Theatre show (see: glow-in-the-dark green paint). I'm there, obscured in the dark or perhaps hiding behind someone's head.

My one-of-a-kind Gojira shirt is still in great condition, and that show still ranks as one of my favorite favorites, despite all I've been privy to or experienced since. Perhaps it was the unexpected element of meeting the band. Perhaps I truly care about Gojira's music in a self-reflective, emotional kind of way and the show was that much more effective for me. Perhaps it was simply because nobody was around to fuck the show up for me, all eyes in front of me were faced forward, I didn't have to deal with anyone's contradictory mood, and I got the feeling of a "whole" crowd. Or perhaps it was just the headlining Gojira show experience. Whatever the case may be, being visually reminded of that which is May 19th 2009 was fucking lovely.

I can't vouch for Car Bomb, but the documentary brings up some good and interesting points, some things I'm even going through right now. As a fan rather than a musician, why have I craved the live experience? 2-3 hours minimum stuck on a bus, eating awful food and suffering for it because nothing is open after concerts get out, alcoholics and bingers, cokeheads, obnoxious assholes who only go to shows to be seen/heard, long bathroom lines, not being able to sleep after from being so wired or emotionally charged, full body soreness, minimum full day recovery per show despite always trying to take it easy, spending top dollar for mediocre shows (who knows which will be the mediocre ones beforehand?), glorification of things I don't believe in, writing after-material that nobody reads unless they have something shitty to say to me, being subtly excluded, alienated, or treated as overly precious... I have my "what's the point?" moments often, even under the best circumstances. But the rare show or concert moment or album or band happens, standing above it all, and I'm like "yep, that's why I still actively pursue music".

This song tells the story of the hard life being half of a duo.

I did not realize the ending was black metal-ish until youtube was kind enough to point that out for me. You're right for once, youtube.

Also, today I learned that the Hawthorne Theater has changed management or ownership (I'm confused) and they repainted and took down all of the fliers on the walls. What the? They're also "reopening" in a few days to accommodate a more drinker-friendly environment. As someone who doesn't drink and doesn't necessarily want drinkers in the front of the room, that sounds like the premise to a horror story. We'll see, we'll see.

Late last year I planned to write about the albums I listened to over the course of 2011. As I worked on the list of albums I heard, writing at least a paragraph on each, I realized that the numerous things I was sharing was becoming rather excessive. Not even the most enthusiastic reader or fan of my kind of music would hold out through the entire piece. I ended up not even finishing it.

I did, however, save some of my writing for a later date. Observe, my thoughts on Nether Regions' Into The Breach album, which was released in February 2011 on self-released CD format:

Nether Regions - Into The Breach

I over-listened to demo versions of this album in 2010 to the point where I can barely listen to this now. I was even on the outs with Into The Breach before it was officially released, the process sped up by my own infinite cynical questioning of reality meets music/me haters. Irritation ruins things, but I guess that's what I get for talking about my personal perspective openly.

That said, I fucking loved this album from the first spin. It's pretty raw - it could use a little polishing, especially with crackhead-found-a-microphone songs like "Your Name Is Madness". But it's heavy, and bassy, and loud, and aggressive even when it's not, and when I can hear the lyrics they're just dodgy enough to appeal to my Scorpionic obsessive "sensibilities". For example from "Outrun The Sun":

"what used to seem like such a dream is now somehow instead / another waking nightmare spent in someone else's bed / thinking of a number between one and sixty three / oblivious to the rising tide of blackness at your feet / careful what they give you / and what they want in kind / can you outrun the sun to which you are a lie / fabricated memories have blown your mind apart / addicted to the god that kills the feelings in your heart / occupy the space between the living and the dead / addicted to the god that quells the voices in your head"

Sounds like a drug-slut-drink song to me. On a good day. It's pretty in the same way "10,000 Days" (Tool) is - because it's honest and emotionally "real". I'll take raw over poetically PC any day... even if the result sounds like a badly memorized copy of Monster Magnet's "Spine of God". And fry like a pig in the heart of the sun...

Also, I learned that I'm being thanked or something in the liner notes of the vinyl that comes out in January. Moving up in the world! Now how am I going to explain this to my parents? "Well, mom: all you knew, and all you believed, are crumbling images that no longer comfort me."

(Sorry if you didn't "get" that last joke. You kinda have to know me...)

Since the CD release, Nether Regions got in contact with Adam Pike of Toadhouse Studios, who's responsible for tinkering with such abominations as those released from Red Fang, Black Elk, Salvador, White Orange, and Diesto. Nether-Pike has now recreated Into The Breach for a hopefully more pleasant, vinyl-friendly experience. The vinyl isn't actually out yet after all, but the remixed copy of the album is now up on bandcamp.

Hear it here:

And behold, my first time listening to it:

Perhaps because I was sick the entire first month I had the demo version of Into The Breach or because the day I first had it I was in the presence of Matt Pike, but I seemed to have completely jumped over the fact that Nether Regions reminded me of High on Fire. The beginning of the album - "Into The Breach"/"Spanish Werewolves" - reminds me of "Rumors of War". I suppose the connection isn't so far-fetched: same genre (stoner metal) and I believe at least the front-man of Nether Regions had some kind of musical dealings with High on Fire years ago, although I forget what or even when. They also have a similar vocal style, a gaspy, compressed shouting that works well live but can be grating on record as with Snakes for the Divine.

High on Fire is clearly stoner metal while Nether Regions has a progressive metal element to their sound, and the bandcamp remix starts with "Do You Live?" as an example of this trait. As such a long-time listener of the band, this new mix sounds weird, weird, weird to my ears. I like a more powerful, heavier sound, and Nether Regions certainly needed to be a bit more 'present' on the CD, so I'm not complaining by any means that I'm hearing so much more bass and a fuzzier overall sound. The one drum sounds so much more obvious, more of a hard "tonk" than a "thunk", and some of the higher sounding guitars have been muted a little to make the song less, I dunno, airy? The song sounds less whimsical and brainy, more cohesive.

And now we know why I normally don't write reviews...

"Your Name Is Madness" is the song I tended to skip previously, foremost because of the first vocal pieces being terrible. I can hear real words now! Holy shit, grandma! Not having a proper history with the song makes it difficult to discuss beyond that, though. I've liked the end of the song. And I still do.

"Pale Faced God" has more of an empty hall echo sound to it right from the start, briefly reminding me of some Desert Sessions or Headdress track before reality hits again. The separation of the hard drums and cymbals in the mix is interesting... It's like there are two different drummers, one situated far from the mic and one right nearby. Interesting fact: the guy who originally did the drumming on this album is not the guy who was credited as a band member on the CD album. I hear that everyone gets their due on the vinyl credits.

"Alpha/Omega" and "Blood Ritual" used to really screw me up - er, still screw me up - as I had confused one for the other for months before finding out otherwise, and I had trouble remembering which is which after. The thing is, I recall loving the shit out of "Alpha/Omega" the first time I heard it - live. If I have the titles wrong again, it's the fast one with the crazy drum solo. That singular moment sold the band on me.

Again, "Alpha/Omega" has a much more blatant drum sound that - from over a year of listening to the CD version - is really distracting and awkward. After listening to the new mix and the new solo, I'm wondering if the reason the drums sound different is because of different drums and drummer altogether. No more sideways zeros? I'm still in mourning.

If I'm going to sit here and cry, then "Blood Ritual" might be a good way to start. It'll be a pained, angry cry. Holy compressed intro. Was that recorded from inside a waffle iron? And yet it all sounds so much more fuzzy and bassy and "full".

"A City Far Enough Away" by title sounds like a song I'd probably really, really like for all of the years I hated living in Oregon. I haven't quite connected to the song as readily as with others on the album, though. It seems the new mix on this song also shares a bit of a reverberated sound, especially in the vocals.

Finally, my favorite song on the album...

Is that synth? Did Greg of Danava get in on this? Hmm...

"WE SIT AND WATCH IN SILENCE IN THE COMFORT OF OUR HOME, what used to seem like such a dream is now somehow EVERLASTING ONE AND ALL in someone else's bed, thinking NOW THEY TORTURE ME, careful what they give you and GIVE IT BACK TO US, can you outrun the sun WHERE BEAUTY AND TERROR DANCE..."

I wonder how many people are fans of both Nether Regions and Danava outside of present-day Portland fascination. One? Two?

And I wonder if that sound was there very low in the CD mix, and I just didn't hear it. And jokes aside, it's probably an addition on Adam's part.

Seven minutes later: Yep, still my favorite song.

And that's that.

What do ya know, I still like this band. BrainAIDS forever! Unfortunately, listening to this album is fucking exhausting even with the five minutes cut out, and I need a nap now.