This isn't remotely musical but I should write something, so I wrote astrology jokes. You're welcome for the enrichment.

In order of how I wrote them:

Two Scorpios enter a bar. One leaves ashamed and embarrassed.

A Gemini enters a bar. They order one drink and two straws for both faces. Bartender asks, why the long face? Potato.

A Leo glides into a bar. After the glitter and confetti finishes falling to the floor and everyone has turned to stare at the absolute wonder that walked through the door, the Leo is approached by the bartender to ask what he or she may desire. The Leo, not swayed by his or her numerous choices, purrs... "Everything."

A Cancer enters a bar. Their mom is the bartender. They get served milk. After being criticized for not ordering a real drink, they go cry in the bathroom.

Aquarius enters bar. Knows everybody. Asks for new drink. Drink not homemade gluten-free free-range red dye-free and has sugar farmed by abused mexican children on glass. Aquarius protests.

A Capricorn walks into a bar. Literally.

A Taurus enters a bar. It's their day to bartend! This second job is great!

An Aries enters the bar. Everyone is charmed except that one guy in the corner, but fuck him, I'm awesome.

A Virgo enters the bar. Their stool has a short leg and the counter is wet. Virgo leaves unseen.

A Libra walks into a bar to meet up with a date. They leave with another.

A Sagittarius enters a bar with tales of adventure from their recent bus trip around Nicaragua. A nearby seatmate asks them something in spanish. Sagittarius says "huh?"

A Pisces doesn't necessarily enter the bar.