I went to year-round school as a kid, so I didn't have much concept of what it was like to have summer off until I moved away. Even then, the next few years sucked regardless of the season and I would have preferred to be at school most days. But summers off in middle and high school was the greatest thing ever. Even my first summer after graduation was good, despite being a bit "too interesting" at times. I had this illusion of really enjoying summertime...

But then I became an adult, and fuck summer. I hate this time of year. It's too hot, and even when it isn't that hot, it's too humid. I can't get anything done. My bedroom is disgusting at night. I can't focus. Having fans running on me to keep cool results in sore throats and dehydration. Going out is pointless because I have to walk everywhere, exacerbating the problem. I like rain and sweaters; I do not enjoy summer.

While I get to think happy thoughts about the end of the summer in the meantime, I also get to think about times I did enjoy summer. My 12th summer was pretty cool. I stayed much of the time with family and got to socialize and swim in a river and play lots of video games. That was the year Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun" video came out, and how appropriate.

It was either my 13th or 14th summer that I discovered Nine Inch Nails. I didn't know who they were yet, I just knew I liked one of their songs ("Head Like A Hole") and recorded it on tape from the radio to listen to in the car on the two-day drive to Hell, California. A year or two later I heard "Down In It" and that sealed the deal for me as a fan of whoever the fuck this band was.

My 15th summer was a big music summer for me. I'd taken up watching MTV for some god awful reason. Maybe because I was 15, but either way I felt really weird about it. My 11 year old nephew stayed over a few times and we watched a bunch of crap together for the first time - Prodigy, Missy Elliot, Puff Daddy/Faith Evans, that Will Smith song for Men In Black. This was also the year I had my first sort-of boyfriend, and started writing regularly/every day for the first time. I wrote that I loved that "goodbye" song... Third Eye Blind's "Semi Charmed Life".

By 16 I had learned that I preferred heavier music by evidence of how well I was taking to "alternative" metal and rock - shit that was no longer playing on MTV, and overplayed on the radio. "Space Lord" was the really big one, but I was also enjoying the stylings of Stone Temple Pilots. I started getting into Tool here and being more musically aware, intentional, and curious.

I really remember this summer musically because of two assholes I met - my future boyfriend who thought "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" was worthwhile entertainment and didn't understand why I groaned about it - and a temporary infatuation I had during the week "Ghetto Superstar" was most popular. I thought Mya was so cool then. Just listen to that voice, it's like a damn bird.

My 17th summer sucked - that whole year sucked. The music I was listening to reflected the suck. Staind, Korn (although I was starting to get sick of them over the summer), I finally heard The Downward Spiral all the way through.

At 18, though, I finally got a copy of Marilyn Manson's Antichrist Superstar. I had to instruct a friend on what the lyrics were from my own memory shortly after, and it was weird to think that just a few years beforehand I was somehow afraid (not the right word) to get caught listening to that band. My mom told me I wasn't supposed to listen to him - dude, whatever, nobody's going to stop me from doing anything, have you met me? Still, I thought there was more going on with the band than there actually was. Regardless, that album deserves all the praise it gets.

Also, at 18, I was introduced to ICP. I didn't "get it", especially at first, but I have a thing against cults. One of my friends got me into The Great Milenko, and another tried to get me into Riddlebox to some failure. Every time I hear anything akin to the phrase "dead bodies" I immediately think "dead bodies, dead bodies, all over the street... 55, 65 bodies at least". I made the Riddlebox friend listen to Opiate and Aenima and told him he'd really like "Jerk-Off". Weird that a Tool song would have anything to do with Insane Clown Posse, but yeah.

My 19th summer I listened to Lateralus practically nonstop. But yeah, this year didn't seem quite so "summery" and the novelty of summer had more than worn off.

Edit: As soon as I finished this entry and took off my headphones, I noticed a thunderstorm had started. How poetic.